Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Yesterdays into Tomorrow

Briar.
My I-just-can't-sleeper.
My impossible to resist ringleted princess.
My grace.

You have a love of language and learning that cannot be suppressed. Just this morning you woke, earlier than usual, and the first thing you did was run to your bookshelf, fingering the spines and asking me to read the words, pronounce the letters. The morning sun shone through casting a B's shadow on the wall above you.



Even covered in dirt, bugs swarming at your face and sweat dripping from your brow, you find the royal magic in every moment, your imagination ablaze.



You are impish and sly. You challenge and test, infuriate and delight, fulfill and inspire. The magic waiting around each corner.



You are my first baby, always my first. Many have said it before me, and many will say it after, you taught me how to be a mom. We learned together, we played together and we grew into each other.



And that, sweet Briar, is why I am struggling tonight. Tomorrow, 12 days shy of your 4th birthday, you start school. I know that you are ready, in some ways I am too. Your questing, whether it is for friends and play dates, or for reading and understanding, has stretched just beyond my reach. I cannot keep up.

You are ready for classmates and teachers, projects and recess. You are ready to explore the hours of the day without me calling out the time. Tomorrow I am going to walk you up to that brick building and let you go. I'll tell you to have fun and I'll promise to come back for you. It will be the hardest thing I've done so far. And the easiest? Well the easiest is this, no matter what happens, no matter how high the number following the word "grade," I will be there to catch you.

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20 comments:

flutter said...

oof. In the best way, oof.

Gretchen said...

Gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful.

Meredith said...

Wiping tears from my eyes and going to give my baby a kiss.

Thanks.

Pgoodness said...

awww...

oh, the tears.

davy boy said...

oh, sniff. she's so lovely, impish indeed.

and this is lovely.

Bon said...

um, the above? that was me, forgetting this is a shared computer.

Ree said...

Aw honey. I pretty much said the same thing to the little boy that went away to his Senior year last Tuesday.

Excuse me while I go get tissue.

amanda said...

wiping away the baby tears :)

thinking of you today...

Lisa said...

Oh girl....you write the best mama sap out there. If there was an academy award for it - you would win.

Hope her day was lovely, and hope your mama heart is still in one piece...

Jodi Jean said...

beautiful ... i wish i could write my feelings down as amazing as you do.

Kelly said...

Aww, good luck to her. And you!

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Crystal D said...

When it is time, it is time. And I am guessing she and Mama both did great!

Amy Y said...

I'd like to tell you it gets easier each time your baby goes to school the first day, but it really doesn't. I hope she had a wonderful day and that you did, too. Though I'm sure you were counting the minutes until it was time for her to come home, just like I was. ;)

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Lovely. She will soar.

Damselfly said...

Beautiful as always. One of the best "first day of school" posts I've read.

The White House said...

What a sweet post. It is my first time here, but I'll be back for more. I have an Avery, too...

Kelly said...

So precious. I know she'll have fun.

Janet said...

Luscious post, friend.

BetteJo said...

That picture of you and Briar together? "Pride .. and possibilities."
Beautiful!