Still Here

Ever hear the one about the mom who finally had a health hiccup and proceeded to completely lose her sh*t?

No?

Check it out.

Sorry to have been absent, somewhere between Chicago and normal I lost my way. Been burying my head in babies and daydreams. I suppose there are worse things to do. I've missed this though, this place where I wax euphoric on my family.

If I'd had my head on straight I'd have shared with you the way Finley almost broke her leg and how through the experience she reminded us how to carry on and be present in all that you have, rather than adrift in the not having.

I would have told you that Avery says, "I am feeling really a'frushrade and I am so angry," instead of screaming or stomping.

You'd know that Briar brings lumps to our throats as she quests for new words and valiantly tries to keep up with the pace of her emerging girl. The highs and lows and irrepressible passion of life at almost-five.

Then, quieter, I'd let you know how Sean has been, how he has stayed right beside me, unerring in his assurances that everything will be fine. Until last night. I'd tell you that the fear I have been searching for in his face finally came and at that moment I was overcome with gratitude for the way he had been hiding it.

I am still here, loving and living. I see calmer waters just ahead and I'm shooting straight for them, if it takes me a while to reach them, just know I'll be back.





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