Friday, April 25, 2008

Butterflies

Yesterday, through the morning and afternoon, contractions hummed through my body. Jolts of pain swirling with delicious anticipation, like the clickety-clack of a car making its way up the roller coaster rise, each thump a rung closer to the top, to that moment when the vista becomes wider than it seems possible, your senses are heightened and you prepare for the exhilaration, the whoosh of air, wind and sun upon you as never before.

The keyboard before me filled with words - a press release, a blog entry, an email response. A daughter. The pressure came again and I was reminded of her, the swell of my belly reaching beyond my lap and resting upon the nubby blue cushion. My hands slipped down and settled upon the taut expanse of cotton, my belly was hard, the choreography of it all made me weak.

40 weeks to a life. My body, once something I fought, now a thing of wonder. The contraction faded and her legs swirled, like a young child making the most of the last dip in the water.

Look, watch me do it. One more time. Watch me spin, mama.

I am watching, sweet one. And waiting. Mama can't wait to wrap you in her arms, but I'll wait while you swim a little longer.

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21 comments:

slouching mom said...

beautiful, amanda.

i am giddy with excitement over this little one! this "d" girl!

slouching mom said...

or this "l, r, s, t, v" girl.

why do i think she's a "d" girl, anyway?

thecheekofgod said...

We're hanging on with you, Amanda. Not long now. How does this time around compare to the others for you? Is this going to be the last one? That made the fouth a really neat time for my wife and I.

And thanks for the updates. We appreciate you taking the time to let us peek into your world.

Brian

Amanda said...

Sarah and Brian thanks for popping in, if only she'd pop out so I could spill the name ;)

It's an "f" by the way.

This time around is quite different, not sure why...age, where I am in life, her quirky, kicky personality?

Is this our last? I honestly cannot say for certain. All I know is how profoundly grateful I am to have have Briar and Ave and how excited we all are to meet "F."

:)

Occidental Girl said...

I felt the anticipation when you talked about the clickety clack of the roller coaster! That is a great way to express the anticipation.

I'm so excited for you!

Binky said...

Just coming off that roller coaster ride on Monday, I can relate. Wonderfully expressed!

chelle said...

Your words always give me goosebumps...my husband is afraid of me after I read your blog ... maybe one more ... maybe? hehe

Amanda said...

Oh, im so excited for you and can't wait to hear of the arrival of your new bubba!

Can't wait to find out the name you have picked for your baby, did the girls help you out with the name? Post lots of photos when you can!

Thinking of you all, {{hugs}}

Love Amanda xx

iheartchocolate said...

Wonderfully expressed, indeed.

Made me cry, again. No big suprise there.

I can't wait! WEEEEEEEEEEE

'f' huh? Fiona? Francine? Faith? I am dying to KNOW..

amanda said...

such a perfect post.

sooo excited to meet little ms. f :)

Colleen said...

Every post that comes up makes me wonder if this is the one. The one that announces she's here.

An "F" name huh? We've got 1 "F" name on our current maybe list. I'm curious to see if it's yours.

Chanda (aka Bea) said...

Beautifully written. Congratulations on your impending new arrival.

trampoline design said...

Let's GO, kid.

jen said...

Little F.

You are so fantastically beautiful in your mothering.

Chaotic Joy said...

Tears. this brought me to tears. I will always remember those moments of my own. There's nothing like it. Pulling for you and your girl.

Heather said...

I think Sarah's thinking of my "D" in my belly...

She'll be here soon, your "F" won't she Amanda? How exciting. We'll be here waiting to hear!

Sexy Housewife said...

I always was soooo anxious by the end! Even with the first, not really ready but as ready as I'd ever be.

flutter said...

I just bawled.

Jenn said...

God, I love her already.

May the waters she navigates always be so filled with love.

And love to you, mama. Much love.

slouching mom said...

Why must I obsess over this naming thing?

So...hmm...

Fiona?
Frannie?
Fern (Charlotte's Web!)?
Felicia?
Flannery?
Frieda?

I like Fern.

Lisa said...

I can't wait to learn all about her. One thing is for sure, Baby "F" will be FANTASTIC!!! (am I a cheese, or what?)