Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bitten

I haven't been posting pictures since my camera bit the dust, but rest assured that if I did, and if they were photos of me, what you would see would be a deliriously infatuated me, mooning over my girls. After a winter into spring that saw me finding the job of my dreams (twice), then a spring into summer that had me delivering Fin and working on my book, and then a summer into fall that led to a heartbreak involving losing a job and peaking with a recent forsaking of our sitter, it would seem that Christmas has brought me a renewed wonder and profound appreciation for my place in the world.

The girls are my universe; spinning, twinkling and coloring my every moment as they circle me. Briar and I are paired in the excruciating dance of mother and daughter, her will challenging me and threatening my ability to pause before reacting. We travel through each day flitting from play to duel. and then we twirl and I am once again in awe of her; my first baby. We laugh and begin anew.

Avery has my number through and through, slipping into bed with me before dawn. Her little legs curl into mine and her still-thank-you-god-pudgy-hands traces lines on my arms, I wub you, mama. Her soft side sleeps during the day, our conversations punctuated emphatically with, "You can stay dere, I can do it By. My. Own." And so I stay, cramming my hands in my pockets to keep from digging my hands into her long curls, to not take her in my arms and squeeze her until she squeals.

And then, as I always say, there is my Fin. She is my first kiss and luckiest moment wrapped in a bundle of dark haired, blue eyed magnificence. Each blink is like a firework, making my breath catch and my heart skip. Her smiles enchant me and each night as she drifts off to sleep the look of calm contentment on her face fills me with nothing short of bliss.

I am so grateful for these sporadic moments of all-consuming glee to be who I am, where I am and, most proudly how I am. They come to me and remind me to count my blessings* and love my life; from the people in it, to the magic in my days. On this snowy morning I am saying thank you and wishing you the same kind of joy in being.

*If you haven't already, I would be incredibly grateful if you visited The Wink to leave a comment for our Uncle Dennis, who is still waging a valiant fight toward healing after being run over by a truck on Friday night.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

11 comments:

Amy said...

This is beautiful. Your girls are beautiful.

I love this: "And so I stay, cramming my hands in my pockets to keep from digging my hands into her long curls, to not take her in my arms and squeeze her until she squeals."

Oh boy I do that often.

Have the merriest of Christmases with your blessed little ones.

PS. I'm sorry to read of the sitter situation.

Heather said...

"By. My. Own." I love it.

Merry Christmas Amanda. We already have the best gifts don't we?

slouching mom said...

Merry Christmas, Amanda and family!

BetteJo said...

Merry Christmas to you Amanda, and to Sean and your beautiful babies. I wish you joy!

Cat said...

I wub you too. Beautiful

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Another lovely one, Amanda. Holiday hugs from my Trenches to yours.

Stella and Thomas said...

I love how you decribe your relationship with Briar. It sounds like my daughter...."We travel through each day flitting from play to duel. and then we twirl and I am once again in awe of her; my first baby. We laugh and begin anew."

Beautiful!!

Patois said...

So beautifully full of love and wonder.

Colleen said...

The way your written words just wrap around those girls... it's truly a gift. Oh, to be your daughter... and to read these words back. There will not be a single question about how much you love them.

Chaotic Joy said...

You have an ability of taking those fleeting day to day moments and turning them into tributes of love for your little girls. Truly it is a gift. Happy New Year, Amanda and her girls. What a year it's been.

starrlife said...

Lovely post! Just stopping by to wish you a Happy New Year!