Sunday, February 03, 2008

Small Talk, Big Ass

Last night was the big, fancy annual event I put together for the Chamber. The decorations, purchased on a shoestring budget, looked magnificent, the girls were happily ensconced in a Governor's Suite at The Sagamore with Nana and Ciocci Jeannie and standing on Sean's arm, he in a dashing brown suit and me in a silver party skirt and daringly low cut black top, I felt incredible.

My responsibilities for the evening had settled down to moderate surveying of the room and the occasional huddle with band members and wait staff. Sean and I were strolling the room arm in arm and chatting with guests. It was a wonderful mix of business and pleasure, and remarkably, we sailed brilliantly through the different snippets of small talk with everyone from bank presidents and CEO's to entrepreneurs and politician's wives.

And then it happened...

After a little back and forth with one of the aforementioned bank presidents, and several other businessmen, talk inevitably turned to my pregnancy.

"Is this your first?" the bank president asked.

"No, we have two. It's our third." I answered.

"Wow, how old are the two at home?" he asked.

"Three and about 20 months," I answered.

"Sooo, do you know what you are having?" A woman asked.

"Yes, another girl," I said with a broad smile.

"Wow, four girls?" the banker asked.

I hesitated for a moment before saying, "I thought you were the banker. It's our third."

Everyone laughed and then another man standing with us said, "It's a scientific fact that with families with three daughters or more the divorce rate grows exponentially."

Silence.

What the hell do you say to that?

"Hmm, I didn't do well in biology, but I don't think I had anything to do with determining gender," I said lightly.

Sean jumped in and said, "It was my escape clause."

"Seriously, way more divorces."

More silence.

We all tried to laugh, but honestly, it was awkward. I didn't think to ask how many daughters he had...

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29 comments:

jen said...

what a dumbass, huh? now show us pictures of the party clothes (from the back)

Jenk said...

He has six girls from three different wives.
Wait- that was bitchy wasn't it?

Oh well, you shouldn't F*** with a pregnant woman. As if your hormonal mind doesn't invent enough on it's own.

Lisa Milton said...

What a dope, chatting up divorce when you're all dolled up & pregnant. Who does that?

Lara said...

wow, some people just have no sense of what is and isn't appropriate in social situations. blech.

Ree said...

Asshat.

flutter said...

why am I thinking he has skewed the divorce rate statistics?

Christy said...

what a jerk! You handled it better than I would have though :)

Heather said...

Wow. Nothing like stopping the conversation cold. Let me guess, he's divorced and bitter?

Amy said...

Yikes, he sounds bitter. Why do people say these things and not realize they are being assholes? In similar, but entirely different awkwardness, we had a Hyde event last night and a board members wife approached me and said, "you must new to The Hyde family, we've never met"....um hi, I've actually been here for five years, and yes, we have met before. According to John I was graceful but I felt my eyes bug. People.

Sexy Housewife said...

I swear, some people just want to ruin other people's fun. Not really party conversation.

BTW, I have an award for you over at my blog. Hope you like it!

Crystal said...

Oh, he so made up those stats. Now why in the world would he know something like that? How annoying.

Myshka said...

Dumb as a box of hair, that man was. Seriously, you handled it with such grace. You know me, I think I would've said something like "and you saw that where? On the latest episode of Maury Povich?" Dude. Okay, now instead of teasing us with pics, SHOW THEM! heehee x

cce said...

Did he really say it twice? Once is a kind of "Oops, awkward social anxiety moment" that a person could sort of forgive him for. But TWICE! That's just malicious. You were good to contain yourself, I may might have let something nasty slip out.

Kristin said...

For some reason, many folks feel compelled to say whatever the hell pops into their wee little heads... what a dope.

Sean's comment was perfect!

Janet said...

I'd say that man is definitely divorced from his social filter. Or at least separated.

Sheesh. Way to kill the small talk, dude.

Life As I Know It said...

Wow. What are people thinking when they say things like that?
And Twice!

What an awkward moment.

Amy Y said...

What an ass!
You shoulda punched him in the nose. ;)
I know I don't know you or Sean, really, but from what I've heard/read on your blog, I think you guys have nothing to worry about, Mama!

Lisa said...

What an ass. You know that he is a man who wasn't lucky enough to be blessed with three amazing girls. Because I heard a statistic (from Lisa's book of statistics) that having a house full of little ladies makes for very happy marriages!!!

L.P. said...

why oh why do people say rediculous things??
why even bother saying that?
i do like your retort with the "you're the banker" comment...that was hilarious. quick thinkin'.

Jenn said...

Charming.

Absolutely charming.

Not sure how many daughters he might have, but I'm guessing no wife.

Marta Barceló said...

Hola Amanda! seguramente te sorprenderás muchísimo al leer esto. He encontrado tu blog y he sabido que estás casada y que tienes dos hijas y otra en camino. Me alegro. Ferran tiene un niño de 6 meses, Jaume; Mercè tiene dos niños, Arnau y Martí, de tres años y 15 meses. Muchos recuerdos de todos. Marta Barceló. barcelooliver@hotmail.com

karla said...

Eeek. So totally awkward. And, ummm, not sure how science and divorce tie in together, but then again, based on that comment, I'm not sure the guy knows how to tie his own shoes. Double Eeek.

kristabella said...

Who the hell says that? Because divorce is totally related to the number of daughters you have.

I'm guessing he's not married. And if he is, it won't be for long.

And it isn't because he might have daughters.

Seriously, who says that??

Kelly said...

What a dickwad!!

Christine said...

what a fool. ignore that idiot. seriously--people like that just like to put everyone else's' situation in a negative light to make better conversation. what a DA.

Running on empty

BOSSY said...

Bossy can see he skipped Social Etiquette 101.

Ophelia Rising said...

Hmmm...I believe that the man has some issues.

You handled it with much grace.

Kimberly said...

WTF? Some people are truly clueless about social etiquette. He sounds like a tool.

Abba-Dabba-Doodler said...

It's a scientific fact that asswipes with imaginary divorce statistics suck exponentially.