Thursday, July 26, 2007

We're Up...



After two nights of fitful sleeping with mews barely as loud as a whisper piercing my soul, Briar has turned a corner and is feeling almost herself again. Almost because there is still a translucence to her skin and an impossible sweetness to everything that she does, that is too good, too sweet. Not my girl, for she is more. More alive, more intense, just more. I love her as sweet, gentle and tender, but it's her fire that delights me. Her iron will, her strength of purpose and direction even when it involves pens, a white wall, teeth and my favorite book. She is my Briar, in the mend, but not quite back. Brace for a post on the return of my spirited child.



And then there is Avery. Down. Sniffly. Weepy. Spacey. And still, so very still. God help me but this blighted train of toddler malaise is taking its toll on me. Her wide blue eyes slay me, usually so impish and smokey, now turn downward, glassy and threatening to run over at any moment with the not quite tears of feeling bad. Fix it they say. And then she laughs, determined to enjoy every moment of her sister's antics, to soak up extra time with me. Home from the sitter's again today, we three sat eating popsicles - Briar's a treat for good behavior, Avery's to soothe her throat and quell the coughing, and mine? Mine was to keep me from gathering them both in my arms and holding on for dear life...

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6 comments:

BetteJo said...

Oh no - on to the second baby? How much can one Mom take? :)

Mine are 2 years apart but even when they were very young they rarely gave me the double whammy of getting sick one after the other. I feel for you.

Kids may be tired now, but Mom is emotionally spent. Popsicles for everyone!

Aimee said...

Amanda: I am an old friend from Eugene, Aimee (Kriz) Hardesty, and through a series of internet searches found you here...and what a pleasant surprise! Your blog is amazing and you are a wonderful writer! I will read on, but just wanted to comment.

All my best to you! 2aim@cox.net

Lisa Milton said...

Boo. Sick babies in the summer - it's just no good.

Hope everyone is feeling better soon.

chelle said...

ugh I am so sorry Avery is feeling sick now :( I guess there is some peace in the fact they were not both sick at the same time, needing you fully and having to divide yourself.

Abs said...

Hey, Manda. Just wanted to be among the first to wish you a...

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to send you wishes via regular email, too, but needed to stop by the blog and read the latest entries...

I'm so glad you're my sister!

Love, love, love,
Abs

Scott said...

I just stumbled upon your blog, I admire the way you write, you do it well. I have an Avery at home too, Avery Rose, she is the light of my life. We are also Sox fans, and my real name is Shawn (shhh, its a secret), different spelling. Seemed cool to find so many similarities, I'll have to stop by from time to time.

We also had a recent birthday, Avery's birthday was the 30th.