Friday, April 13, 2007

Keeping a Straight Face

Sometimes this parenting a toddler thing feels like a big old game of chicken. You have to be consistent, patient & straight faced.

"Hey Briar, do you need to poop?"

"No."

Ten minutes later.

"You wanna sit on the potty and try and poop?"

"No-oh."

30 minutes later.

"How about we sit on the toilet and you try and go poop?"

"No, tank yooo very much, Mom."

20 minutes later.

"Poop?"

"Naw."

45 minutes later.

"Mom, are you hold me and give me a fresh diaper?"

"Oh no, did you poop?"

"Are you hold me?"

"Did you poop?"

"Are you hold me and give me fresh diaper?"

"Oh, Briar, why did you poop in your diaper?"

She smiles.

"Fresh diaper?"

"Ok."

Pulling down her pants I see the sitter gave her a big girl diaper.

"Briar, you have on a princess diaper, that means you went on the potty."

"I go on the potty at Jen's."

"Why don't you at home?"

Another smile. I am annoyed.

"This is baby stuff Briar."

More smiling. Damn her, little brat.

"Oh Briar. Next time tell mama."

She smiles, it's a long slow smile. If I didn't know her bowel was empty I'd think she was about to drop torpedoes 2 & 3.

"I did the biggest nasty in mine diaper."

I lose the game of chicken as I snort and throw my head back.

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4 comments:

Cate said...

Well, look at the bright side...it makes for a hiliarious story!

My oldest can be cutely devious too....I'm dreading the whole potty training thing!

DysdHousewife said...

Welcome to Potty Purgatory. God Save Us. LOL My son even has sound effects. You know the sound the tractors make when they are backing up, to warn people? Well he does that.. Beep Beep Beep.. (Backing up towards mom) Beep Beep Beep "mommy got sumfin for yaaaaa!" Beep Beep Beep..

Jerri said...

When I ask Jace if he wants to use the potty, he pats his crotch and says, "NERP". That's the phonics version of the word he uses, but he has yet to even think of using the potty.

Lara said...

feisty little thing, isn't she? :-P