Sunday, October 08, 2006


Whether I am ready for it or not, Avery is moving forward at warp speed.

Last night, this morning really, we were in Connecticut visiting the Magee clan.
I had started out in bed with Avery and Briar while Sean camped out on the floor.
By 4am I was on the floor with Avery and Sean was up in the bed with Briar -

Some day I'll do an entry on the challenges/adventures of sleeping away from home with a toddler and an infant.

I was cooing in Avery's ear trying to keep her from doing the loud orating she has taken to doing in the early hours of the morning. My cooing actually spurred more conversation, so I slowly put my finger on her lips, gave her a few pats and shushes and then slipped my finger between her lips to massage her gums.

Surprise! Her gums weren't the only thing in there.

Avery. My baby. My sweet little, dark haired beauty is not just sitting up, she has teeth.
2 teeth to be exact. And they aren't just kinda poking through. These guys went from totally hidden beneath her gums to there. Sharp. White. Beautiful. Terrifying.

Where is the time going? We just brought her home. I have been in total denial as I have dressed her in some of the hand-me-downs from Briar. She's so long. She's so strong. Well, ya, she's like 5 months old. I swear in my heart and my mind she is so much younger. Looking back it feels as if the world slowed down for Briar's arrival. We had so much time. We just stared at each other for hours. We talked. We cuddled. I cried. I just cried and cried so perfect was the little person in my arms.

But my Avery, my sweet, perfectly formed little Avery is sprinting forward. She so clearly wants to be running and talking and devouring all the experiences she is watching us have.

"That's a second baby for you!"

"That's what older siblings do."

"Yup, classic."

With all due respect, I appreciate everyone's opinions. I recognize the wisdom of your years, the value of your experiences, but let me clue you in on something. This is my child. I really don't give two shits about the fact that all babies from the beginning of time have done x, y or z. Why don't people allow others to revel in an experience?

Why do strangers feel the need to tell you that soon enough you'll be wishing your kids would move out?

That the cuteness will wear off?

That all kids say "daddy" first?

Why, instead of saying 'wait until...' or 'you're going to..." don't people say something that allows the person to just enjoy?

Just let parents brag.
We all let crazy people rant.
We love gossips do their gossiping.
We let jerks say jerky things, but everyone just butts in on new parents and newlyweds.

Seriously, think about it. When was the last time you stopped something awful that was being said? When did you step in to make a difference? Ok, now, when was the last time you let slip some sort of, "Ya, I know all about that and let me tell you..." or heard someone else do it as they cut short the story of a happy person, eclipsing them with their own experience?

To newlyweds it's "Ah, that'll go away. Soon you'll be praying her goes on a business trip so that you can have the bed to yourself." Or,"Cuddle? Not since I was 20."

Well poo on you. Maybe you should have tried harder to hold on to the passion in your relationship.

And the things people say to parents or expectant moms. My goodness. Is it so bad that we are excited? Are you so resentful that you are in a different stage that you have to attack others. Let it go. Suck on that urge to say whatever you're thinking that will make the parent feel like what they are experiencing is anything less than the most magnificent, amazing, never-before happened in the world thing?

Seriously, what is going to happen if you let that one person savor that sensation for just a little longer?

I am so in awe of Avery and her wild race to achieve milestone after milestone. And people can tell me that it's classic second child whatever. But no matter what, I know that before everything else it is Avery doing things in a way that only Avery Adams Magee can. No one else in the world has ever been chasing Briar Davie Magee. No one else has ever had Sean Magee as their father before. Our family has never beenbefore now. It is because Sean and I met and fell in love and started a family.

To all the rainers-on-parades, I can say beyond what I have just said, that our family is because other families came before us. Each one so different. Each one contributing to what exists today. So yes, there are connections, but each joy, each awakening, each moment in time is new and we are all entitled to enjoy them, just as the people that came before us were entitled to theirs.

I love hearing other parents and other couples talk about the things they are most excited about. I think it is an incredible honor to have those things shared and to be in the position to help make those people feel even just a tiny bit more joyous, delighted and proud. I listen, nod, smile, tear up whatever. But in those moments I know that I am being given the opportunity to share in something and that is truly special.

*For the record, I didn't have somebody shoot the Avery and her two teeth story down. I just really went back (without meaning to) as I wrote this and remembered all the people (mostly during my pregnancies) who really said awful things. Who says, "You'll never love your kid as much as you do with him in your belly right now." What do you say to that? So be different, the nexttime you have someone gushing in front of you, just let 'em gush.

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