A disclaimer for my earlier rants:
I am blessed. Truly blessed.
I have the strongest most impossible motivators to ignore.
They make me want to be the best person I can be.
Just look at that face, that tiny little hand.
Tell me she doesn't make you want to harness the moon and slay all the dragons.
Isn't the Psycho scream shot an interesting contrast, kind of playing off the whole good vs evil theme?
Pretty sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions.
Pretty sad that so many people miss opportunities.
A drunk driver and an amazing entrepreneur.
So you all know about the crash on our block, the 46 year old drunk driver and the fact that he'd done it twice.
Well yesterday I met with a guy, 56 years old, and just living the life. He went from owning several ski outfitter shops to operating an incredible rafting and kayaking business. He didn't have a perfect plan, just a willingness to adapt and work hard. So now he works alongside one of the most beautiful stretches of Adirondack wilderness surrounded by people who love what they are doing.
The 46 year old pathetically tried to flee the scene. He was small and weak looking, his drunken head hanging on his chest and a small paunch hanging over the waist band of his pants, the strobe lights from the squad cars coloring his stooped frame.
The 56 year old man glowed, coppery red hair curling wildly around his freckled face, tapping feet clad in a pair of khaki Crocs, and jet black sunglasses shielding his eyes from the sparkling waters of the Hudson beneath the late August sun.
10 years and worlds apart.
One man pursued a goal and rode the currents of his success to a new venture and a truly enviable existence. Another gave up and gave in to his demons, threatening everyone around him and leaving a wake of devastation in the process.
Wallow in failure and anger?
Work hard and reap the rewards?
Hmmm...hard work and rewards look and feel much better than failure and twisted metal.
I mean seriously, if given the choice between a miserable, lonely life with alcohol as your blinders or surrounding yourself with the sounds of laughter and contentment what would you choose?
Now you might say the driver of the car doesn't have the option of a thriving business on the Hudson or he has no happy people that he can surround himself with, but I would beg to differ.
We choose our paths. We pick the people we choose to have around us. We get to wake up each day and say:
Today, I am going to be happy. Today I am going to pursue the things that make me happy.
Or we can wake up and say:
So far my choices have brought me nothing but sadness, anger and loneliness, I think I'll keep doing that because it's easier than swallowing my pride or working to experience joy. Yup, today I will continue in pathetic misery.
It can be done people. I quit smoking. It wasn't easy. I would never want to have to do it again, but I did it.
You can quit drinking. You can put down the cake. Choose not to turn on the tv. You can do it.
And I would say you have to do it. You get one life and the brutal truth is that it is so piercingly short you must devour each minute you are given.
I hope that second incident will be enough to get that guy on the other path, the path that goes somewhere. Because the other is just such a tragic waste.
Man charged with second DWI in two weeks
By DON LEHMAN
dlehman@poststar.com
Published on 8/31/2006
GLENS FALLS -- A Queensbury man was arrested on felony drunken driving and unlicensed operation charges after he hit two parked cars late Tuesday, the second time in two weeks he was charged with felony driving while intoxicated, police said.
When asked by police how much he had had to drink, Robert L. Edwards, 46, of 4 Barber Ave., replied "too much," Glens Falls Police Chief Joseph Bethel said.
His blood-alcohol content was found to be 0.31 percent, nearly quadruple the DWI threshold of 0.08 percent, police said.
Edwards was free on his own recognizance at the time of his arrest Tuesday, after being arrested on felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation charges Aug. 15, Bethel said.
He was arrested about 9:10 p.m. Tuesday after police got calls from residents of Sheridan Street that a car had hit two parked cars, the chief said.
Officers arrived to find Edwards leaning against his car but unhurt, Bethel said. Sgt. John Winchell recognized him as a person he had arrested for DWI weeks earlier, and asked him how much he had consumed, the chief said.
"He said 'too much' and said he was drunk," Bethel said.
The arrest came 14 days after Edwards was arrested on Orville Street after police pulled his vehicle over, Bethel said. In that case, Edwards fled his vehicle and ran through yards in the area, the pursuit ending when he was found hiding under a boat trailer in a back yard, police said.
He surrendered without further trouble at that point, and his BAC in that case was found to be 0.17 percent, Bethel said. He told police at the time the arrest was his third for DWI, Bethel said.
Edwards was arraigned before Glens Falls Judge Richard Tarantino and sent to Warren County Jail for lack of $7,500 cash bail or $15,000 bail bond.
He was arrested Tuesday by Winchell and Glens Falls Police Officer Jammie Rossi.
9 o'clock on a Tuesday night and I'm reading Briar a bedtime story.
We're cuddled up in the big, pink striped reading chair.
Dora and the Big Dig is the current book du jour.
All of a sudden I hear the sound of a tire exploding outside the window.
I squeeze Briar.
An eerie silence hangs heavily outside.
Every hair on me is standing on end as I scoop Briar in my arms and look out her window.
Nothing. No lights. No sound. Blackness and sadness.
I hurry downstairs with Briar cradled tight against my chest as I call for Sean.
He's already out the front door and on the front walk.
The scene:
A mangled sedan, a parked suburban rammed up on the sidewalk, the car in front of it up on the lawn. Smoke everywhere.
The sounds:
Tires squealing as the driver tries in vain to reverse the car out from under the suburban and away from the scene.
Then there was more smoke and the sound of the neighbor restraining the man.
This bastard who careened into our neighborhood completely inebriated, decimated his own car, destroyed a parked car and who tried to flee turns out to be a repeat offender. The first officer to arrive on the scene knew this man's name.
Mr. Edwards.
Mr. f*cking Edwards
It's summer.
This is a family neighborhood.
You can't trip without colliding with a toddler or elementary schooler.
9 o'clock.
30 minutes earlier and kids would have been on the street.
How dare you place your worthless self behind the wheel of a car and endanger our families, Mr. Edwards.
How dare you have the right to live to do this a second time.
The officer arrested you last week for driving under the influence, Mr.Edwards.
Why?
Why would you do this again?
"I'm 'prolly' gonna go to jail. Gotta go." You said to our neighbor as you tried to run.
You are lucky.
You should not be here.
You should never have had the chance to do this a second time.
I pray that you do go to jail this time.
I pray that when you wake up tomorrow you remember.
I hope you remember the faces of the children who watched from the sidewalk as you slurred and swayed and seemed to take no responsibility for your heinous act, the risk you took with the lives of everyone between your last drink and the bumper of the car you hit.
I hope everyone who bore witness to your pathetic attempts to run remembers.
Remembers never to get behind the wheel drunk.
Remembers shaking with gratitude that our babies were all safe.
And sadly, I hope we all remember that there will always be people like you out there Mr. Edwards, people who will test the odds and drive drunk.
Shame on you.
Here she is.
Gloriously happy. Sunny. Goofy.
How could I not insert a picture with both of them?
I am awed by the dimensions of my love for these girls.
Just when I think I sort of have a handle on how I feel about Briar,
how I feel about Avery and how I feel about them together,
I am hit by a new wave of emotion.
Last night Avery slept in her crib. In another room. The entire night.
Who knew that you could celebrate and mourn at the same time? I am so fiercely proud of how smoothly she seems to figure everything out.
From the day she came home she has seemed to anticipate things that needed to happen before Sean or I ever clued in. She shifts gears and adjusts to whatever happens. She has spread through the fabric of our little family, filling in gaps we didn't know we had, while creating new spaces that we have been able to fill with even more joy, more wonder and more love.
The mourning comes into play with the realization of just how fast life moves when there are no huge hiccups. I look at Avery now and she has already grown so much. She's so long and her movements are so deliberate. She is babbling, cooing and responding to us. And the way she follows Briar with her eyes...it won't be long before she is sprinting down the front steps in pursuit of Briar.
And Briar, good lord. She is transforming into the most incredible little girl. Her face, the expressions, she is remarkable. A joker, fiercely determined and incredibly loving. She has this wonderful mix of independence and playful affection. She is wonderfully nurturing with Avery-talking to her, sharing and tending to her if she is fussy. She loves to help Sean and I with projects, but she'll also go and sit in a chair and have solitary time. Sometimes just looking out the window or contemplating things as she talks to Blue. Other times she turns in circles until she falls in a fit of laughter or has us dancing and spinning with her until our clothes are literally drenched with sweat.
There is no denying that Briar and Avery have changed our life. And changed us. Sean and I are now forever partnered as a team. We will always be Mom and Dad to these girls. The shift from looking inward at our own needs to the needs and futures of these girls has opened up so much. Rather than limitations or responsibilities it feels like we have new opportunities. Introducing these two incredible people to new things: pointing out a shooting star, gasping at hot air balloons at dawn, puddle jumping in the rain. We get to be examples- the way we live, the relationship we have will be a template for how they understand love, compromise and cooperation. It's so much easier to not be selfish when you know how positive (and important) that decision is. And, we get to enjoy simple things. Pure things. I am looking forward to being with my family, to cuddling and wrestling, to coloring and tunneling. We are looking forward to cheering from the sidelines and applauding from the front row, to sitting at the table and helping come up with adjectives.
The opportunity to have this family, my family, is profoundly humbling and exciting.
Briar loves the water. Avery loves Briar.
Briar loves the water even more with Avery in it.
More still when enjoying the water from Kelsey's arms.
Finishing it all off with a mouthful of gold fish is pretty sweet.
Sean is the little voice you want to be able to have in your head.
Look, just look at yourself. Look at how incredible you look.
Do you see that light? You are gorgeous.
Makes me dizzy to hear, I feel like I am standing in the sun. Not just standing in the sun, standing in the sun and getting a shoulder rub. When he does stuff like this the warmth spreads over me slowly, I'll timidly look at the photos, or my reflection and begin thinking,
Hmmm, maybe. Ya, he's right, I really do look good.
Suddenly I'm standing taller, smiling brighter and just enjoying myself more. I felt incredibly carefree and giddy as we looked through these pictures from today's trip to the pool.
Then we got to this next photo. Basking in the glow of knowing that my husband thinks I am gorgeous and that I feel pretty good about how I look myself, I smiled at the picture. I felt him shift as he stood next to me. He took a breath and I smiled as I waited for him to compliment me again.
(God I love this guy!)
" Yup, there it is, the fang. Caught on your lip like the fat kid who couldn't fit through the chainlink fence. Wait up guys,I'm stuck. I'm serious, wait up."
And the spell is broken. Big guy, had to go and say something like that. I clicked on to the next picture. Avery looked adorable. Sean moved beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. Whew, back to sensitive and sweet Sean.
(Did I mention how much I love this guy?)
We're busy, there always seems to be more laundry than our hampers can hold, I burn through socks faster than I can match them thanks to puddles in the kitchen, I still believe that I will get around to sending thank you notes- even though the first shower happened so long ago we've had a second child, and I cannot remember the last time I shaved and remembered to put on deodorant.
That said-Ain't no denying the sweet reality that I've got two gorgeous daughters and a hot husband.
Life, though stinky and harried, is exceptionally sweet.
So nap time.
It's a special time.
A special experience.
Something for which to give thanks.
It can be magic and transformative, giving you time to accomplish things.
Taking your child from unrecognizable ogre to angelic, tousle haired angel.
It can chase away a runny nose.
Restore a traumatized fuse.
It can also be fraught with anger and resistance.
It can turn you from beloved parent to hateful dictator.
It can make you question your ability as a parent.
Your competence.
It can be sheer hell (which is actually pretty funny sometimes- though embarrassing because the neighbors think you are inflicting some sort of physical torture on your child.)
I present you with the less magical type of nap experience.
Just watch how her face changes when she smiles. She has two dimples on the right side of her face: one in her cheek and the other just beside her mouth where her lips curl up in a grin.
Oh ya, she is a thumb sucker.
This may not be the traditional response but,
"I am thrilled!'
It is so stinking cute. I get so proud I could bust as I watch her soothe herself by sucking her little thumb. The left one. The same side Sean sucked.
(We won't go into the whole issue of the Magee DNA being so dominant that I feel like...well, I guess I said we wouldn't go into that...however I will say that Briar and her need to play with her belly button- that one is ALL ME.)
Sometimes I actually choke up because she is so capable of calming herself down, getting herself to sleep and just figuring it all out.
...have that little indescribable something or other that makes you want to climb into photos with them, to live a moment in time alongside them. Briar has that quality. I am grateful every day that I get to live life with her, it's every bit as magical as the pictures.
Apologies for the onslaught of video, I just thought it would be neat to show the girls in action.
At nearly 2, any action involving Briar tends to be fast and loud.
Behold, the spinner.
Never a dull moment.
Plenty of hysterical moments
(from gut splitting laughter to vein popping tantrums)
Quite a few touching moments
(tugging at heart strings and pulling on hair)
Lots of unforgettable moments
(first word, first curse word)
And hopefully more moments than we can count left to enjoy.
