Thirty Three

Today is my birthday.

I woke up this morning to Sean leaning over to kiss me while Avery nursed. About twenty minutes later Sean came in with Briar and they sang Happy Birthday to me. Briar nestled into my lap and hugged me, her skin was cool and smooth from the AC and her golden auburn curls tickled my face. Avery was propped up on a pillow just smiling, kicking her long chubby legs and letting out the sweetest coos and peals of laughter. Sean grinned at me and said that there was birthday coffee waiting downstairs. I can honestly say that it was the sweetest birthday morning ever.

I always thought it was just "the right thing to say" when people said, "Oh my kids sang to me! It was all I needed and more."
I'd always do the internal head shake, like, "Sure it's all you need. Behind that slight dazed stepford smile you're cursing and wondering why the hell someone didn't buy you a damned gift."
It was just hard to buy that, not to say that I always thought parties and a big production were necessary, I just had no idea how a kiss from your child or hearing "Habby Benday" could make you feel blessed beyond words. And here's where it gets really sappy, just knowing that I get to be their mom, that every day for the rest of my days I will wake up knowing that I am Briar and Avery's mom and that Sean is by my side as their dad, it's just more than I could have ever hoped for.

So, I'm 33 and couldn't be happier. Pretty awesome thing to be able to say.

Avery Fever

Things started off calmly enough.

Little lap sitting.


Little arm cradling.

Some more lap sitting and arm cradling.

Then the inevitable happened.

First it was the singing and the cooing.

Then came the rapturous gazes and loud declarations of beauty.

And of course, the uncontrollable kissing.

Pop

The Magee clan has come and gone. The first group (Aunt Kelsey, Pop, and cousin Katie) came in around 10 Friday morning. Avery took right to her Pop.



Note the complete face mush on the chest


Briar was transfixed as Pop made faces, said silly things and made music with a bottle. Witness the expressions on her face as he jokes around outside of the frame.


What is he doing?

How did he make that bottle whistle?

No, I'm serious, that was awesome. How did he do it?

I'm going over there.

Too far to go around. I'm climbing over.

She decided to move in for a closer look...

and weave her special kind of magic




Behold the smile and giggle.

Batting the baby blues.

Got him!

"Are you seeing this?
Poor guy doesn't even know what hit him."

It's too easy. Watch this. I'll make him clap his hands.


"You keep clapping, Pop. I'm going to go have some Fritos."

Love you Pop.

Aunt Kelsey

So, first, Avery and Briar have one truly stunning aunt. It was such a treat seeing Kelsey, both for the amazing person she is and for the joy she brought our girls.

Avery snuggled right into Kelsey's arms.



Not a tense bone in her long little body.



I think you can even see a family resemblance.



Briar LOVED coloring with her Aunt Kelsey.



Wow! Cuh-lah! Yeah!



Hanging out with Avery and Briar at the same time is somewhat difficult.



A tender moment with Avery.



And an invigorating moment with Briar.

Boo Boo

So the other day I took Briar and Avery on a walk while we were waiting for Sean to come home from work. I strapped Avery to my chest in the Baby Bjorn and Briar walked beside me holding my hand. Avery was bobbing along, gumming my thumb and Briar was weaving between the sidewalk and grass excitedly pointing out bugs and sounds.

"Buuug. One. One. One. "
"Pwlane. Puh-lane. PLANE."

"Yeah, thank you Briar, that's right. Bugs, lots of bugs and a plane! Good job, thanks for telling mom."

Then Norman, the incredibly friendly cat of our block ambled over to say hello. I thought Norman was kind of cool at first (months and months ago) now he's like that guy who you bump into way more than seems possible and who doesn't take the hint to leave until...well, actually he never takes the hint.
Anyway, we're walking along with Norman leading the way.

"Kitty. Ki-tee. Kitty, yeah."

Briar was reaching for his tail, sort of grazing her hand over the tip.

"Uh-oh. Oh no. Boo boo," she exclaimed.

"What is it honey?" I asked.

"Boo boo, kitty, boo boo," she said pointing ahead as Norman held his tail up, exposing his backside with feline pride.

"No honey, that's not a boo boo. That's, um, that's not a boo boo. That's how, that's where kitty goes poop," I explained somewhat dubiously. Would she get it? Should I explain what is it? Do I say butt? Anus? Should I...

"Yeah, plane!" she said with glee as she blew past Norman.

Whew.

Nana Crush

You have no control over who your child loves.
There always seems to be that person or two, that desperately wants to be your child's favorite. They bring gifts, they "coochie coo", they do everything, but if your kid doesn't feel it, your kid just doesn't feel it. The same holds true with relatives. I think children, more than anything or anyone, prove the point that there are some things in life over which you have absolutely no control. Perhaps when they are older you can cajole, bribe and gently threaten that they be nice or pretend, but at 22 months, Briar holds the reins.

Luckily for her Nana Jan, Briar adores her. Now Jan,has been known to do some crazy things to incite glorious giggle fits in Briar, but she doesn't have to do that. I think she has been looking for an excuse to roll around on the floor making crazy sounds. I think she is also enjoying the license Nanahood gives her to sing out loud and dance at the drop of a hat.

I think these pictures will illustrate the special bond developing between these two.

Water Sports with Dad

Our fearless daddy lovin' water bug.

Piercing Beauty

Her blue eyes just can't be stopped.
Now with the curls. Good grief.
Sean is going to suffer.

Splashing Around with Dad

We hung out with our friends Trent and Tara and their son Carter on Sunday. Sean and Briar played in the pool while I kept Avery dry and quenched in the shade.

1st Day Back

6 weeks.

Bull shit.

They give you 6 weeks and say that it's time to go back to work.

Drop your kid off at Grandma's.

Drop 'em both at a sitter's.

Get back to work and pretend like it doesn't feel as if your entire world has been wrenched from your arms.


Look at her. I swear she spent the whole eve of our first day apart touching my face, cuddling tight and smiling at me.



It was different than with Briar, but it still hurt. Still feels incredibly unnatural. I once heard a woman speak at a luncheon, she had started her own business. She said, "I just can't work for anyone. They look in my eyes, and what can I say, I cannot hide the fact that the "Go to hell" is on the tip of my tongue."

I can relate in that sometimes as a working mom you feel like you are a hair's breadth away from saying, "Ya'll just aren't worth the time away from my babies." I am so censoring the words that are in my head, but the gist is about the same.

Luckily I plotted my return to begin on the Friday before a 4 day weekend. So this week will be short, and the next...


well, the next will come. For now I am taking it a day at a time. White knuckles, teary eyes, lump in my throat and all.

I thank all that is good for giving me (us) these healthy, wonderful girls.

Last Day

We all had lumps in our throats on Thursday as we prepared for "Dama" and "Grangon" to go. It was a perfect visit (despite the alternating humidity and state of emergency torrential downpours).






In one of those actions that your kids do that literally slices you to the core, Briar still goes to the door and looks for "Dama" and "Grangon" to come back. Other times she just says their names softly.




As my Grandfather has often said, "Damn these miles between us!"